“I’m Not Good at This.” – How to Help When Your Child Doubts Themselves

We hear it every term, usually right around now:

“I’m no good at this.”
“I can’t do it.”
“Everyone’s better than me.”

As a parent or teacher, hearing those words stings. And the hardest part? It’s rarely true.

More often, what kids actually mean is something simpler:
“This feels really hard right now.”

And when something feels hard, it’s easy for kids (and even adults!) to confuse difficulty with being “bad” at something.

So, what should you say when your child says, “I’m not good at this”?

First things first—don’t panic or jump straight into reassurance. Instead, slow down and acknowledge their feelings. Saying something simple, like:

“I get it. Learning new things can feel really tough sometimes. It’s okay to feel like this.”

Then, remind them gently about what matters most:

“Remember, it’s not about being good right away—it’s about getting a little better each time. And you’re doing exactly that.”

Kids don’t need perfection. They need reminders that growing takes time, patience, and lots of gentle nudges to keep going.

Why does this happen so much in Term 1?

Around now, kids naturally start looking around and noticing how everyone else seems to be doing. Maybe a friend mastered a new skill quicker, or they’re stuck on something tricky that makes them feel behind.

Comparison is normal. But it can also feel pretty overwhelming.

As adults, this is where we step in—not by trying to stop the feelings, but by shifting their focus back onto their own journey. Remind them that every dancer or cheerleader they admire has felt exactly like this at some point. Struggle and doubt are actually part of getting better.

One of my favourite things to tell our students (and my own kids!) is:

“You don’t have to be the best at it today. You just have to be brave enough to keep showing up. The rest will follow.”

Keep trusting the process (even when it’s messy)

Here’s something I’ve learned over all these years at Fanci Footwork:
Confidence isn’t built by always getting things right. It comes from pushing through the messy middle—when things feel uncomfortable, slow or frustrating.

So when your child says they’re “bad” at something, remind them—and yourself—that this feeling is just temporary. It’s not failure. It’s growth!

We see your kids. We see the tiny victories they achieve each week. And we’re right here with you, supporting their journey every step of the way.

They don’t have to be perfect.
They just have to keep showing up ready to progress
💗🖤🤍